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Who Dies First? Estate Planning for Second Marriages and Blended Families

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Why ‘Who Dies First’ Matters in Estate Planning for Blended Families

Estate planning is essential for everyone, but estate planning for blended families comes with unique challenges. The order of death can impact who inherits an estate, leading to unintended disinheritance and legal disputes.

Legendary actor Gene Hackman, married to Betsy Arakawa, highlights a critical estate planning issue: if one spouse dies first, who controls the assets, and what happens next? For blended families, where one or both spouses have children from previous marriages, ensuring a clear inheritance plan is crucial.

The Risk of Unintentional Disinheritance

Imagine a common estate scenario:

  1. Hackman leaves everything to Arakawa, with the intention that what remains after her passing will go to his children.
  2. If Hackman dies first, Arakawa gains full control over the estate. She can spend, gift, or leave the assets to someone else, potentially disinheriting Hackman’s children.
  3. If Arakawa dies first, Hackman retains control, ensuring his children inherit as planned.

But what if they die simultaneously or within days of each other? Without a clear survivorship clause in an estate plan, state laws may determine the outcome, often in ways that contradict the deceased’s wishes.

Not sure how this applies to your own property?

We set up beneficiary deeds, wills and trusts for families across St Louis County, St Charles County and Franklin County. Bring a copy of your current deed and we will tell you in one short call whether a beneficiary deed on its own is enough, or whether your situation needs more.

Call (314) 818-8807See how we handle it

Real-Life Estate Disputes That Could Have Been Avoided

1. The Strang Family Tragedy

In 2010, Bruce and Gloria Strang died in a car accident. The court ruled that Gloria survived by a few minutes, meaning she inherited everything from Bruce, only for the assets to pass to her own heirs. Bruce’s intended beneficiaries received nothing.

2. The Brooker Estate Dispute

John and Charlotte Brooker, a couple with children from prior marriages, died within hours of each other. Since Charlotte survived John, her children inherited everything, leaving John’s children disinherited and leading to a legal battle.

3. The Benson Estate Conflict

New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson’s children fought for control of his estate when he transferred his fortune to his second wife, Gayle Benson. While this wasn’t a simultaneous death case, it shows how stepchildren can be unintentionally cut out of an inheritance.

3 Estate Planning Strategies to Protect Your Loved Ones

1️⃣ Incorporate a Survivorship Clause

  • This requires a spouse to survive for a set period (e.g., 30-90 days) before inheriting.
  • If both spouses pass within this timeframe, assets can go directly to the next intended beneficiaries (e.g., children).

2️⃣ Use a Trust Instead of a Simple Will

  • A revocable living trust allows assets to be controlled even after death, ensuring children receive their inheritance regardless of who dies first.
  • Trusts also avoid probate, saving time and legal fees.

3️⃣ Name Contingent Beneficiaries

  • Always list secondary beneficiaries in case the primary beneficiary dies.
  • Example: “If my spouse predeceases me, assets go to my children.”

Final Thoughts: Estate Planning for Blended Families is Essential

For individuals in second marriages with stepchildren, defining who inherits in different scenarios prevents estate disputes and unintended disinheritance.

Proper planning protects family harmony and ensures that assets go to the right people. Don’t leave it to state laws, take control of your legacy today.

📞 Contact Mid-America Law Practice at (314) 818-8807
📧 Email: info@midamericalaw.com
💼 Schedule a free consultation to protect your estate and loved ones!

Azra Ahmad, founder and managing attorney at Mid-America Law Practice

About the attorney

Azra Ahmad, Founder & Managing Attorney

Azra focuses on estate planning, elder law, personal injury and traffic law for families across the St. Louis area. She earned her JD from Saint Louis University School of Law, is licensed in Missouri and Illinois, and is a member of The Missouri Bar, WealthCounsel and ElderCounsel. Before law, she worked as a speech-language pathologist with children and seniors.

Read Azra’s full bio →

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    Areas we serve: Chesterfield, St. Charles County, Ballwin, Wildwood, Ellisville, Manchester, Wentzville, Washington, Union, Pacific, Marthasville

    Not sure how this applies to your own property?

    We set up beneficiary deeds, wills and trusts for families across St Louis County, St Charles County and Franklin County. Bring a copy of your current deed and we will tell you in one short call whether a beneficiary deed on its own is enough, or whether your situation needs more.

    Call (314) 818-8807See how we handle it

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